As I explained in my previous post about how to find a therapist, one of the big roadblocks when you decide you need therapy is figuring out what type of therapy you need and what all those acronyms mean like CBT, DBT, ACT, EMDR etc etc.
So with this in mind I wanted to explore some of these in a bit more detail so you can figure out which one might be best for you to try. It might not seem like an obvious place to start with one of the lesser known modalities, but Psychodynamic therapy is what this post is focused on to explain what it's all about and how it can help a Fellowman.
It's a form of therapy that I’ve had really good personal results with, and you can listen to the podcast I did with my former psychodynamic therapist Dr Doug Col (just scroll down to bottom of this post) who helped me have a major breakthrough a few years ago which resulted in me changing career to work in mental health and ultimately become a therapist.
What is Psychodynamic Therapy?
Psychodynamic therapy is a talk therapy that is about getting to the root of things. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep reacting this way?” or “Why do I feel stuck in certain areas of my life?”, this kind of therapy helps you start to figure things out. It looks at how past experiences—like your upbringing, relationships, or life events—might be shaping your current feelings and actions, often without you realizing it.
This doesn’t mean spending all your time reclining on a couch "Freud" style talking about your childhood, but it does mean exploring patterns that might have started there and carried over into your adult life. By recognizing these patterns, you can start to change them. Personally I think this approach is one that resonates with a lot of men as it’s focused on trying to get to the root cause of what your problems are vs just sitting in a room talking about them.
How Does It Work?
Like a lot of therapy it starts with a conversation, but with someone who’s trained to really listen, ask the right questions, and help you see connections that might not be obvious. The goal isn’t just to talk about what’s bothering you right now but to understand the deeper reasons why those issues exist. For example, if you struggle with anger or feel distant in relationships, therapy helps you uncover why that might be and what’s fueling those feelings.
In sessions, you’ll talk freely about what’s on your mind. The therapist may help you notice patterns in your thinking or behaviors, connect emotions to past experiences, and work through unresolved conflicts. Over time, you’ll gain insight into yourself and learn healthier ways to deal with challenges.
Unlike some therapies that focus solely on “fixing” your problems or learning coping strategies to deal with them, psychodynamic therapy helps you understand the deeper reasons behind your struggles. By uncovering these root causes, you can start to make changes that last longer and feel more authentic. This approach is especially useful if you feel like you’ve been “spinning your wheels” or repeating the same mistakes, whether in relationships, work, or your mental health.
Why Is This Useful for Men?
A lot of men are taught to “just get on with it” and not dwell on feelings. But sometimes, powering through doesn’t fix the underlying issue. Psychodynamic therapy helps you understand why you might feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck, even when you’re trying your best to hold it all together.
Personally I think this type of therapy works well for me as it goes beyond surface-level fixes, and just talking about what you’re going through with your therapist. It’s not about changing who you are but about understanding yourself better so you can break unhelpful cycles and live a life that feels more in control and fulfilling.
The theme that came through loud and clear for me when I did this type of therapy was a lack of purpose in my work, and my therapist helped guide me in the right direction to figure out a path that did have more purpose. You can think of Fellowman as a direct result of that exercise.
If you’re curious to learn more about this type of therapy and how it helped me specifically then have a listen back to one of my earlier podcasts (when the pod went by its former name of the Blackdog Cast), with my psycho-dynamic therapist Dr Doug Col.
If you’re curious to try this type of therapy yourself, the best place to start is by searching Psychology Today for therapists that are specialized in this modality and give them a try.